Fuck
by MMAD about SVU
Summary: A one shot... I don't know. I've felt kinda poopy about my life so this happened I guess. Rated for language!(:


"Fuck!" Andrea spat out at the mirror in front of her. She had just royally fucked her life over, really it was almost impressive how badly she had just ruined everything. Miranda had told her, ages ago, that she would be gone this weekend. _This weekend. _The weekend of their 2 year anniversary, which Andy had been planning for almost that entire second year.

"Fuck fuck fuck." Andrea swore again and picked up the mostly shattered wine bottle next to her on the bathroom counter. In her reflection, the bubbles played off the 42 candles _42 _mocking her sadness. She took a swig, cutting her lip in the process.

_Yes _she was an idiot for throwing it. But she had also been an idiot to call Miranda, _screaming _about how she didn't value her, and how Miranda would never know what love was because her head was stuck too far up Irv's pompous ass. She was a whole 'nother kind of idiot for sobbing and hanging up. She was a complete and utter moron, and Miranda would no doubt want her out by her return.

"Fuckity fuckity fuck fuck fuck." Andy bit her lip where the blood was pooling, she needed to clean up, and then leave. Miranda would be furious, well more, Andy assumed if she saw the precious white tiles in her bathroom stained with a 30 year old bottle of merlot. "Fuck."

In yet another bout of stupidity, Andrea grabbed a white towel and started to mop up the sopping floor, but the issue was not just the wine but the glass and her own damned tears falling from her stupid eyes and her stupid heart breaking and her stupid mouth whispering "fuck" over and over again.

Once she soaked the towel, she wrung it out into the sink and went back onto her knees, not noticing the shards of glass cutting into her knees, which were exposed by the Stella McCartney royal blue lace dress she was wearing. Miranda had drooled over the damn thing on a model and had said in passing she knew how perfect Andy's now size four, curves would look, poured into the gorgeous mini. "Fuck!" She yelled slamming her hand down onto the tiles, the towel was soaked again, a play of deep purples and a vibrant red, "Fuck." she was bleeding quite badly.

There was no time to drain the bath as she took another swig of the broken wine bottle and tossed it into the trash. "Fuck." Andy stumbled into the bedroom, blood dripping down her toned legs. "Fuck fuck fuck." She kicked off the black suede pumps and ran around, looking for her damned coat. She knew Miranda would be furious with the mess, she felt sick. She ran. Down the stairs, smashing into the wall, _Will be so mad. Oh god. _"Fuck!" She screeched, her ankle buckling underneath her. She fell down four steps, smacking her head against the banister.

"Fuck." Standing on shaky legs, her coat was tossed into the study, last night, making love until the wee hours, was not needed, _Shit. _Tumbled across the waxed wooden floor, blood trailing her, "Fuck…" Andy bit her lip, seeing the mess, not realizing it was hers. Andrea shook her head violently, needed to leave. Saw her black blazer, "Fuck." It would have to do. Forget shoes, fuck, leave.

She grabbed a bottle of gin and took a couple of swigs. "Fuck." _I love you. _

Ran out to the front steps, "Fuck." money was in her purse, "Fuck." So was her key to the town house. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck!" Andy started to cry, deep sobs wracking her body, on their _NO, _Miranda's front step. "Fuck fuck fuck." Her head brought itself back against the door. "Fuck."

Miranda was in her car the moment her girlfriend had hung up, _I told her, months… I told the girl. _"Townhouse Roy, quickly please." Not happy

Shaking her head she pulled up, some, seemingly homeless distraught girl on her step, long brown, no, mocha hair fell around the trembling shoulders, "Jesus." The girls wails were loud, curses… Well one, falling from her lips at a remarkable pace. _Didn't Andrea understand the business, she had even informed her. She didn't mean it. _God Miranda hoped she hadn't met it. Did Andrea not hear this girl. "Oh for god's sake." She pushed open her own door, tired of waiting for 'dad' to tell her it was safe.

"Fuck!"

Oh shit, that wasn't a homeless girl, _Fuck indeed. _"Andrea?" Her words trembled as much as the younger woman's shoulders.

"Andrea?" The sobs and curses fell faster. _Blood _Miranda's veins ran cold, "Andrea, Honey?" She reached out an arm, sitting her hand gingerly on the quivering one of her young love. A broken set of chocolate eyes looked up at her "Miranda" She whispered, her sobs breaking for a small smile, before eyes widened and the sobbing worsened.

"Darling…?" Miranda was shocked, what had happened? "Andrea." She pulled the woman up. "Oh my darling… Your knees…" Miranda licked her lips, when had it gotten so cold and dry out, shit. She made fast work of unlocking the door and pulling Andrea inside, off with the blazer. "Fuck."

Miranda almost smirked, before noticing the blood trail around her home, "What the hell happened?" Andrea sank to the floor, her beautiful chin now resting on the bloodied knees, maring her face. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck." She whispered, sobbing into the burning flesh.

Miranda gasped, this poor angel. "What happened my darling?"

"I- I-I" She gasped, rocking back 'n forth, letting Miranda sink next to her. Never had told Miranda about the panic attacks, Hadn't happened for years, beginning of Runway. "Shh."

Andy nodded, sobbing into her legs, Miranda's arms were warm and welcoming.

"Your knees only?" Miranda needed to know if she needed to get the girl an ambulance. Nods were her answer. Miranda cooed words of love into Andrea's ear, until she settled.

"Oh god, I am an idiot." Andy gasped, realizing, "I broke a bottle, and ruined the tile in the bathroom, along with the stairs' carpet and our relationship." She shook her head, couldn't slip back into the attack.

"No no, all are fixable. But we aren't broken. Although you never told me about these attacks. I love you. I know you were sad, and angry. You forgot, it's human." Miranda stroked Andrea's hair lovingly, just noticing the dress she grinned, "And that dress, tragically was not made just for you." Andy sighed, she hated the dress. "Oh… Miranda i'm sor-"

"Tragic, because no one but you should be able to wear it. But the upside is that we can get you another one."

Andy grinned, "I love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
